Tyler and Jordan

Everyone has been asking me how Tyler is enjoying being a big brother. The truth is - I think he’s still deciding…

At first, he seemed intrigued about this new, little person in our lives – but that curiosity has now faded. And everyday he sees Jordan – it’s as if he’s saying, “Are you still here?”

There are good times – like when Tyler wants to kiss Jordan good night or hold his hand.

Then there are not so good times – like when Tyler wants all of our attention. When he doesn’t get it – or thinks Jordan is getting too much of it, he begins to act out. So yes, we’ve seen a lot more tears and a lot more tantrums.

We have purchased a few items to make Tyler feel special. And he’s enjoying his new wagon and new swing, but we know “things” aren’t enough. So we give him as much individual time as possible. We’ve taken him to the zoo, on special walks and try to give him “Tyler time” on a daily basis. And Todd has really been busy - taking him on bike rides and to the park – while I’m doing baby things. In fact, he and his father have become much closer since Jordan has been born. And sometimes I’ll admit – it’s hard to see Tyler go to his dad for things he would normally have me do. But while he’s enjoying all the extra time and activities with his dad - that’s not enough either.

Tyler still wants mommy time! And he wants it when he wants it!
But if I’m feeding Jordan or changing his diaper – I can’t give him that time right away. That is terribly disappointing to Tyler and it shows all over his face. There are actually times when he looks at me as if I’m betraying him – which makes me feel horrible! And when I tell him to give me a minute or to help mommy with the baby – he just looks at me and walks away as if he’s been defeated. It really is hard to handle, but we’re doing our best and hoping, with time, things will get better.

My heart goes out to Tyler and I honestly feel sorry for him. I know he feels like he’s being replaced to some extent, but he knows we love him (hopefully all the hugs and kisses help) and we will continue to show him how much.

I’m sure I’m not the only mom who’s experienced this. Tell me how you handled the situation. Talk to you soon…